Must My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Stop Using Me for Material?

One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?